He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
