You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
