Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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