The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
