I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
