YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
