Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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