You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
