Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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