is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
