Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize