I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
