Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
