This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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