Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize