That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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