I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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