Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
