My nipple is on Facebook.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
