Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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