My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
