I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
