Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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