never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize