how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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