Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
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