Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
