I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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