Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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