i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
