i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
