We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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