I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
