so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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