No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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