Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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