I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it š
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I canāt handle this place without those handjobs
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
