you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My dick has a subreddit
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
