You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
