i was born a porn star she said
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
