Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We have started to decorate penises.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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