You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
