with your own penis?
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need a beard to bite.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
