Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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