Don't you send me to vm
now i know why i became what i already was.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
