Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
