Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
