haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
