We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
