Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
