I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize