Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
