Moan for me like Helen Keller
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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