it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
