Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
