Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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