Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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