why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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