I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
