I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
