is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Green mimosas i think yes
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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