Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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