ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
