Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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