Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
