escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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