First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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