Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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